True Shots Funny Shit

 Our first girl, she wonders why she can't find herself a good man, not one looking for sex.
I'm wondering who is desperate enough to be asking this pile of cellulite for sex!
Then she mentions that she's up with nothing to do, which sounds suspiciously like an invitation for someone to come by and give her what she's been complaining everyone wants. I have an idea though. Don't have anything to do? Eat a salad!

This one. I don't know if it was done on purpose, but when I saw her picture and the caption underneath says "Modern War" I just had to laugh.

This guy claims to be a gay bottom that hates drama. Well I could tell he was a gay bottom from the picture, and I think he's also a liar, because the guy looks like he's ALL ABOUT THE DRAMA!

Once again, the ad at the bottom says it all. Get a great deal and live happily ever after, drama or not!

 This is exactly what to avoid when you're cruising guys or girls. Every picture in this guy's portfolio is head only. That can only mean one thing. The guy has a swimmer's build. Remember though, WHALES HAVE A SWIMMERS BUILD!

Another profile with the body mysteriously missing. This one's even worse since most of the face is missing too. Both the pics are close ups showing only part of the face and no body. So that tells me that not only is this girl obese, she's also busted. She could be hiding anything from a giant herpes sore to a scar from that knife fight she got into with her baby daddy/stepfather/uncle





This is a satirical weblog. Everything on this site is my own original comedy, and everything is protected as parody material. If you happen to be the person depicted in one of these photos and want your picture removed, I'll be happy to honor your request. Simply call 212.479.7990 and leave your name, your stated proof of identity and your email after the beep.